My road rage incident happened 20 years ago - and it was a masterpiece.
I drove back from a NSU-meeting, where I had participated with my Harlequin-K 70 (a white overpainted car, where I had mounted doors and bonnets in different colours), when I noticed a young bloke in a white Golf I, who drove like an asshole, trying to overtake on the right and so on. I didn't let him pass and when the Autobahn was free, I accelerated, that he couldn't overtake me. When he tried to pass on the right again, I turned directly in front of him - and he evaded on the emergency line and tried to overtake me there.
He overtook one lorry that way and tried to pass me, but this was not possible, because I didn't give spave to the truck in front of me. He came closer and closer - and then I steered to the right and rammed him two times in the classic Hollywood-style, als Bullitt or Detective Rockford
He wanted to stop, but I continued driving. At the next exit he left the Autobahn - and I immediately stopped at the emergency phone, which stood directly besides -it was in the times before mobile phones- and called immediately the police "He rammed me an fled!"
Before the cops arrived, I thought: "Hmm, I'm alone and in the Golf were three people, the bloke and two girls. That's not ideal for me."
When the Autobahnpolizei arrived I told them, that the bloke tried to overtake me on the right, rammed me and fled. I told them too: "Together with many other NSU-freaks I'm on the way back from a large fan-meeting. As it seems, there were several witnesses of that incident. I have to ask around"
Back home I did. I've phoned my fellows - and found a RO 80-driver, who hated the traffic police, a troublemaker, who had dozens of fights at several courts about traffic incidents. A classic stickler for principles.
Together we made a perfect fitting testimony, which he sent to the police and the insurance (which of course denied to pay my demands).
About the damage of my K 70 I went to a valuator, who attested an amount of 2.500 D-Mark (nowadays ca.1.250 €). He tried to make a correct assesment, but he made several mistakes (fortunately to my advantage
). Back in the 90ies the K 70 was alredy extinct, to not listed in the insurance-databases any more, neither in the Volkswagen-spare-parts-lists.
He added some parts of the 1971-MY, which m car didn't have, and the didn't noticed, that the wind was not really damaged. It just had rubber-dirt of the Golf's tires, caused by the fact, that the K 70 has an inner frame in the wing, the Golf not. The bumper wasn't damaged either, just one screw was loose. Finally the only really broken part was one hubcap
After several months we had to go to the hearing of the local court. The RO 80-freak took me with him, so I even had no fuel costs (of course I let me pay the common rate by the court. The loser had to pay them)
The hearing was a kind of bizarre. Before the beginning the policeman told me "Oough, the lawyer is a notorious shyster, who often has celebrities as clients", so I became a bit anxious.
But the joke was, that everything went better, as I ever had expected it
With toy cars -I yelled "I take the RO 80 scale model!" we reconstructed the incident on the judge's table - and I presented photos of the Autobahn-exit, where the bloke left and where the emergency-phone was placed, which caused big eyes at the lawyer. Very bad for his client, because he told the judge, that his client went home (in a town 40km away), because there were no phones on the whole distance.
It became worse, when I snapped to the lawyer "Are you serious with that bullshit? No phones on 40km? On every German Autobahn are emergency phones in maximum 2km distance! And there is infrastructure on the country road either!" - and the judge, an older lady, nodded to my words.
The next deep hit bloke and lawyer got, when I described the situation. That the bloke tried to pass me on the right, even on the emergency lane. When I said "I didn't let him in again and closed the distance to the truck in front of me", the laywer yelled "That is duress!" (duress in the traffic is a crime in Germany, as to tailgate others on the Autobahn without distance and headlight flashers)- and I yelled back "So what? If it was duress, it was to the truck in front of me, not to your client - who overtook me on the right, and that even on the emergency lane!"
The judge nodded again and the lawyer became quiet
A few minutes afterwards he became angry again, when the judge asked for my harm and I said "2.500 D-Mark".
"Bullshit! That old clunker! You aren't serious with that!"
"Hey, this is an official assessment! Yo wanna to dispute that, eeh? Really? Let's try that!"
Then he said, that I have rammed his client and not his client has rammed me (which actually was the real truth
). I replied "No look at the photos. My car has the rubber abrasion from the tires. The reason is the left lock of your client's car!"
Not true, because as said above, caused by the missing frame in the Golf-wing and the stabile K 70-construction. But anyways, the judge agreed again
When the lawyer asked for a break to parley with his client, something really strange happened
The judge, as I said, an older lady, said to me "I see, this is an old Volkswagen. I had one, too. A 1967 Käfer, my first car. Last week I had to give it away, after 30 years. The needed repairs became too much and I cannot make anything by myself" - and she started to cry!
Well, the result of the lawsuit was, that the bloke was convicted as guilty and had to pay 2.500 D-Mark fine.
Also a perfect base to get my demands from the bloke's insurance.
But the story has not yet finished!
The comment of the judge to the lawyer "And the other thing has to run, eeh? Otherwise we will see us again very soon. You got it?" sound very interesting to me
I wanted to read the records of this case. How to get them? No problem in my job, as in the claim departent of an insurance, we have to have them in many cases - but my employer was not involved.
I could coax my boss, a lawyer (in Germany records of cases can be ordered by -of course only involved- lawyers at the prosecutor's office, to order them for me.
I wrote a faked requirement, with a faked file-reference of my company, and that even with using a faked name
The file was marvellous! I read, that after my report of incident at the Autobahn-police, the colleagues were already waiting, when he came back home - and they already knew him. Maybe because of that and by the fact, that "hit-and-run" in traffic is a crime in Germany, they immediately confiscated his drivers license.
And all this was observed by a neighbour, who hated the bloke.
The bloke didn't accepted the loss of the drivers licence and continued driving his car and also his motorbike - and every time he did that, the neighbour noticed that in a list, and after some weeks he gave his list to the police.
So the bloke earned annother lawsuit, a really bad one. Driving without license is a crime in Germany, a crime, which can cause hard punishments (o.k., in the over-smooth German judicature "hard punishment" means not too much
- but every single usage of a vehicle without having a license is a new delict!
The final result of the second lawsuit I haven't found out, but anyways, the whole incident was great enough for me at all
Finally, the bloke'e insurance paid lump 1.500 D-Mark (ca.750 €), with a reference to the obscure general process. I wrote complaint, but all I got, was a refusal, as I sometimes write in my job, in polite words a "It's already more dosh as you deserve. Piss off!"
I refrained from more dispute - 750 € for a damaged hubcap is a great deal anyways. Plus ca.150 € I got from the court for my costs to come to the hearing.
P.S. one important quintessence: don't be afraid of mega-arrogant celebrity-lawyers. You can fool them, even when you are just a lonesome, poor boy in torn jeans, who drives a junky 200€-clunker
It's just a thing of callousness and good preparation.
P.S.II My story is not problematical at all for me.
The lapse of time for a false testimony without oath is 5 years in Germany.